Ash Fallen Read online

  Rosalie’s face grew hot. She’d been trying so hard to convince herself it was all an act; it was hard for her to admit her true feelings. Her throat constricted. “I want to stay,” she whispered.

  “I’m sorry, what was that?” he prodded, cupping his ear with his hand and leaning in closer.

  “You heard me,” she said forcefully, shoving him in frustration. She struggled to keep her tears at bay.

  He chuckled and pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head. “I want you to stay too, Roe,” he admitted. “Dammit, if you’re not going to be the death of me though.”

  She laid her head on his chest and let him stroke her hair. Confusion and doubt surrounded her, but through all these emotions, she felt his strength. She felt love – which made what she planned to do seem impossible.

  “I didn’t realize you’d designated yourself as my alarm clock,” Ash told Stryker once he’d joined him in the stables.

  “We have a schedule to keep.”

  “Have you ever known me to be late?”

  “No. But I’ve also never known you to…” He paused, words trailing off.

  “To what?”

  “To be so bloody irresponsible,” he spat out.

  “You need to mind your own business.”

  “When it comes to the affairs of these men,” he gestured towards the group of men busy mounting up for the day, “it is my business.”

  “Do you honestly think I’d jeopardize the safety of these men? For what? Some skirt?”

  Stryker remained silent.

  “You do, don’t you? Well, Stryker, if that’s what you think, you really don’t know me at all.”

  Pulling himself up on the horse, Stryker took the reins, then looked down at Ash. “Right now, I think I know you more than you know yourself.”

  Ash’s jaw tightened. He wanted to argue but knew there was a ring of truth to what Stryker said. He hadn’t come to terms with his feelings for Rosalie. He’d started to rely on her. After every raid, it was her he longed to rush back to. What was he to do with the beautiful woman who came to his bed each night, offering herself so freely without expecting anything in return? Not even her freedom.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Rosalie slipped out of her room and crept towards the horse stalls to meet Talon. The pair were counting on the chaos of the army returning from the latest raid. With the flurry of horses and new prisoners, they hoped to go unnoticed.

  The plan was to steal two horses and make a clean break towards the cover of the forest. Rosalie had secured blankets and enough food for two days’ ride, which she’d stashed behind one of the troughs. What she hadn’t managed to do was shake the stabbing agony of regret at leaving Ash behind without saying goodbye. She shrugged off the unwelcome emotion, telling herself she didn’t owe him an explanation – or anything else.

  Talon wasn’t at the stables when she arrived. For a moment she fantasized he’d changed his mind, giving her an excuse to stay with Ash. But she dismissed the foolish thought and rounded the stalls to look for him. She found him at the edge of the courtyard, standing awkwardly in the open. He had a peculiar look on his face, and Rosalie immediately knew something wasn’t right. When she rushed over to him, Stryker and a host of his men rode up beside her.

  Stryker dismounted, then crossed his arms in front of his chest, glowering at her. “I’m impressed. She did just as you said she would.” He looked at Talon and grinned.

  Rosalie stood in stunned silence as she watched Talon cross the courtyard and stand beside Stryker.

  “You betrayed me,” she choked out as the revelation sunk in. Tears of anger stung her green eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Roe, I didn’t have a choice.” He dipped his head, ashamed.

  “You always have a choice,” she hissed.

  His head whipped upward, and his eyes narrowed. “Yeah, well some of us don’t have the luxury of sleeping with our captor to guarantee our safety,” he spat back.

  His words were a blow, and tears of shame and humiliation slid down her cheeks.

  “What’s going on here?” Ash spoke up from behind her, startling everyone. He was on foot and no one heard him approach.

  She turned in anger to face him. In doing so, she noticed a cut above his right eye, but resisted the urge to ask him about it. It was her own skin she needed to worry about. “I guess this was your big plan all along?” she accused. “What in the name of Helstice were you stringing me along for?”

  “Roe, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He sounded more confused than defensive.

  “Oh, save it. I can only take so much lies and betrayal in one day.”

  He placed his hands on her shoulders and held her gaze. “Roe, seriously…”

  “Someone needs to teach this girl a lesson,” Stryker said, stepping towards Rosalie.

  Ash looked sharply at Stryker, then held up his right hand. When Stryker advanced, Ash made a circular motion with his index finger, chanting something under his breath as a faint glow of light resonated from his fingertips.

  Stryker stopped in his tracks. His countenance changed and he bowed his head in obedience, appearing to shrink in stature.

  At first Rosalie was confused, but then the realization hit her. “You’re a Seducer,” she said, turning to Ash in disbelief. Her eyes pleaded for him to deny it. Instead, he nodded, and Rosalie’s knees nearly buckled. The shocking truth took the breath out of her lungs and the wind out of her sails.

  She’d met a Seducer once. He’d passed through her village, charming people into giving up their livestock, jewelry, and other valuables before he waltzed out of town. The impact had been devastating. Rosalie recognized the power, and all at once it became clear.

  She couldn’t keep the tears from falling. Her shoulders shook in anger as feelings of frustration, betrayal, and self-loathing washed over her all at once. He hadn’t cared about her. And truly, she hadn’t cared about him. He had held her under his spell so he could use her until he was done with her.

  Erupting in anger, she shoved Ash as hard as she could, then broke into a run, headed for the line of trees in the distance.

  “Grab her,” Stryker barked to one of the men, snapping out of the spell.

  “Let her go,” Ash said. When Stryker started to argue, Ash shot him a warning look. “We don’t need her anymore,” he said sharply. But his eyes clouded with regret.

  Tears blurred Rosalie’s vision as she ran as fast as her legs would allow. She was sobbing hysterically, and her heart beat wildly in her chest at the thought of what might happen if she were caught. Would Stryker order his men to shoot her in the back while she fled? Then she realized – they were Ash’s men, not Stryker’s. She’d been played.

  As she ran, she tried to imagine how the man who’d held her in his arms and kissed her so tenderly could be so deceitful. Would he be so cruel as to give the order himself? To counter the possible threat, she ran in a zigzag line towards the trees. To her surprise, she didn’t hear gunshots. Not even shouts from her captors. She heard only the thud of her footfalls and the bitter cries that escaped her lips.

  When she reached the cover of the woods, she paused to take a breath behind a mammoth fir tree. She bent forward, placing her hands on her knees. She closed her eyes and concentrated on returning her breathing pattern to normal. She wiped her eyes with her shirtsleeve and drew in a long, sharp breath before standing upright once more.

  Feeling some assurance from being tucked behind the massive tree, Rosalie peered around its edges to view her captors. They remained a far distance away. She could make out Stryker and Ash in what appeared to be a heated argument, but nobody pursued her.

  She hadn’t had time to consider how she’d feel once she escaped. Relief, at a minimum. A sense of pride. Perhaps a bit terrified at the prospect of being caught. But hidden behind the tree and panting from her exhilarating run, she felt none of those things. Instead she felt something unexpected. Regret. Regret and loneliness. W
ho was she without Ash, and just what was she supposed to do now?

  Ash wanted to go after Rosalie, but he knew it would make him look weak. No Seducer’s spell would help him overcome showing weakness to his men. He also knew she needed a cooling off period. One night alone in the woods ought to do it. The temperatures wouldn’t dip low enough this time of year to put her in any real danger. He knew it would be cold enough to make her reconsider running again, though. He worried what she would do if she came face-to-face with a wild animal, but he’d also witnessed her in action and knew she could protect herself. He thought about the short-blade knife she kept hidden in a sheath tied to her inner thigh. No, he decided. She would be safe. Hungry. Cold. But safe.

  At first light, Ash slipped past his men and into the woods to find the woman who’d slain his heart. He’d had a sleepless night as he’d reevaluated his original decision not to tell Rosalie he was in charge. He’d been so convinced it was the right thing to do. Now part of him wondered if he’d done it so he wouldn’t have to carry the full weight of his guilt for invading her village; or suffer through her glaring at him with the same disdain as she did Stryker. He’d pondered all these things as he tossed and turned in the overwhelmingly empty bed. But as restless as his night had been, he knew hers had been worse. He’d at least had a bed. And heat. He figured their regrets were about equal.

  He found her a few rows deep into the tree line, nestled under a blanket of leaves and twigs. He shook his head. He knew they wouldn’t have afforded much warmth. In a small way, it pleased him to discover she hadn’t gone far. It gave him hope.

  “Roe,” he whispered, but she didn’t answer, feigning sleep. He picked her up with minimal effort. He knew she was awake, but he let her save face and didn’t call her out on it. Her body was cold as ice, and he pressed her close as he carried her back to his room. She buried her face in his chest, soaking up his warmth.

  He brought her into his room and laid her on the bed. Rosalie shivered, chilled to the bone. She looked up at him, wary and a little afraid.

  “I’ll draw you a bath,” he said tersely.

  Rosalie tried to remove her damp clothing, but her fingers were too stiff to comply. She fumbled with the buttons of her blouse.

  “Let me do it,” Ash spoke from the doorway of the bathroom.

  Ignoring him, she continued to struggle with the buttons.

  “I’ll do it,” he said gruffly, moving towards her and pushing her hands away. He worked quickly to unbutton her blouse.

  Cheeks burning and heart pounding, Rosalie refused to look at him. He pulled her up from the bed and jerked her wet shirt from her body. He made quick work of removing the rest of her clothing as she stood there, helpless and shivering. His movements were calculated and efficient. Then, without warning, he swooped her into his arms. She felt his strong hands as he carried her, naked, towards the bathroom and she made no effort of retreat.

  When he lowered her into the tub, the piping hot water stung her skin, but she welcomed its gentle assault. The night had been rough, and she thought she’d never be warm again. She leaned her head back. The tops of her breasts hovered above the water’s surface – pert, inviting. After stripping off his clothes, Ash climbed into the tub behind her, cradling her in his arms as he kissed her neck.

  Rosalie felt warmth and desire stir her blood. “Don’t,” she pleaded.

  “Don’t what?”

  She twisted her body to face him. She tried to establish some distance between them, but her knees brushed his. “Please don’t use your charms on me. It’s not playing fair.” Tears escaped her eyes and slid down her cheeks.

  Ash cupped her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him. “I would never do that to you.”

  She shrugged her shoulders. She didn’t believe him. Or perhaps she didn’t want to believe him. If he had charmed her, she wouldn’t need to hold herself responsible for the deep feelings she harbored for this man who was her enemy.

  “Roe, I would never hurt you. I would never let anyone else hurt you. And I would never, ever use a spell or a charm on you without your knowledge. I played fair.”

  Her tears flowed easily now. She didn’t try to stop them. “I don’t believe you,” she choked out.

  “Yes, you do, Love. That’s why you’re so upset. You don’t want to admit you might have real feelings for someone like me.” He didn’t sound angry. A little hurt. But mostly matter-of-fact.

  “And what about you?” she asked, trying to sound tough.

  “What about me?”

  “Do you… What are your feelings?” Her face burned as she launched the question into the universe and allowed herself to be vulnerable.

  Ash appeared taken back; stunned into silence.

  “I guess I figured as much,” she said, interpreting his silence as rejection.

  “I’m crazy about you, Roe,” he blurted out. He cleared his throat, uncomfortable with expressing his feelings so openly. But he would do so if it meant that much to her; if it meant he would no longer have to see her cry.

  She sniffed and looked away, trying to process the emotions his words stirred in her. He didn’t say he loved her, but it was a start.

  “Roe,” he spoke softly.

  “Stop,” she said, shaking with emotion.

  “Roe, this is real. You and me. I freaking love you if you want to know the truth.” He gathered her in his arms, and she rested her cheek against his bare chest. “Roe, when I thought you might be gone for good, I didn’t know what to do. I love you, and that’s something you’re going to have to get used to.”

  She smiled up at him. Her red-rimmed eyes were swollen, but they held a warm glow. “And you swear you didn’t use any spells on me?” she asked, but this time her question was playful. She knew the answer.

  “I swear to the goddess, Anteria.”

  “You don’t even believe in Anteria.”

  “But I know you do. And I swear by that. Is it so hard to believe you could have real feelings for someone like me?” He smiled, but he looked pained. He was all nerves as he waited for her response.

  “I don’t want to hurt anymore,” she whispered, eyes cast down in misery.

  He pulled her close and brushed the hair out of her green eyes. “Then don’t, Roe. Let it go. Take a chance with me.”

  She gulped back her tears. “You put me in danger of being hurt more than anyone or anything else.”

  “And what about me? You don’t think you do the same? Half my men out there think I’ve gone crazy, soft – or both. But I don’t care. I’m ready to take that leap with you.”

  She crossed her arms in front of her chest, her stubborn side taking the wheel.

  “You need to decide if you’re ready to do the same,” he finished.

  “I want to be,” she spoke softly.

  He felt gutted. “I’m afraid that’s not good enough.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I just want to be sure what I feel is real.”

  “And what do you think you feel?”

  She hesitated, letting him suffer for a moment. Finally, she admitted, “I love you too, Ash.”

  “Thank the gods.” Breathing a heavy sigh of relief, he leaned in and kissed her. His mouth felt warm on hers and she pressed closer to him, lengthening the kiss. The water was waxing cold, so he stood and scooped her out of the tub. She squealed with delight as he brought her to the bed and plopped her down unceremoniously.

  “You’re such a brute,” she teased.

  “Hey, you told me not to use my charms.”

  “I meant not to use your powers. I don’t think it would hurt to use the natural charms you were born with.”

  “Nah, they’re overrated.” His eyes gleamed as he grinned back at her. He pulled back the covers and they both climbed in.

  Rosalie was still shivering, but mostly with anticipation. She knew this time when Ash made love to her, she’d have no doubts it was real. His words. Her feelings. She was elated.

  �
��I can just hold you if you want,” he told her, but the desire in his tone begged for much more.

  “I want to feel all of you.”

  “I can’t say no to that.” He pulled her towards him. For the first time, they came together as lovers on an even playing field.

  “I see that Rosalie’s back,” Stryker said to Ash over breakfast, arching an eyebrow. “Thought you decided we didn’t need her.”

  His jaw tightened and he shrugged in response.

  “I wouldn’t have hurt her, you know. I was just trying to scare her.”

  Ash nodded but his eyes burned with anger. He didn’t say anything, unsure of what might come out. The altercation still infuriated him, but he didn’t want to throw away a long friendship by saying something he’d regret.

  “Ash, I get that she’s pretty and all, but…”

  “I think I love her,” he blurted out, glancing over at his friend, then back at the ground. But it was a mild lie. He already knew he loved her.

  Stryker nodded, lost in thought, but somehow not surprised. He’d never seen his friend fall so hard. There was a time he would have seen it as a weakness; but he remembered his own plunge into love. Subconsciously he patted his shirt pocket where he kept the picture of his wife and baby tucked beneath his stash of bitterroot. “I hear you. Now what are you going to do about it?”

  Ash rubbed his temples, deep in thought. He skimmed his fingers over the cut above his eye – a much-too-recent reminder of how the last raid had almost gone awry. Was he losing control? “I don’t know,” he finally said.

  Stryker stood to his feet, brushing imaginary dirt from his pants. “You’d better figure it out.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “Steady,” Ash whispered, his lips inches from Rosalie’s ear. He pretended not to notice the intoxicating way she smelled, or the way his loins tightened in response to being so close to her.

  “I have done this before,” she whispered back, pretending to be annoyed by his hovering. She’d missed the thrill of the hunt; how it felt when the grip of the bow rested on the pad of her thumb. She adjusted her stance and softened her hold. She knew in the excitement she was squeezing the grip too tightly.